I’ve also arranged for my grown up niece to come over every Tuesday from 11 – 3 (number 2) to give me time to do some writing, run errands, catch up, hell even just read a book uninterrupted! My niece needs the money and she’s fabulous with Little Miss so it’s a perfect match. I’ll be home for the first few sessions to make sure its all ok but I absolutely can’t wait and I’m so relieved that I’m using someone I know and already trust!

I’ve also had a stab at number 10 (clearing out or downsizing 10% of our belongings) – obviously there will be more of this once this bloody house finally sells (please dear god make this soon!) but it felt good to clear the space. I’ve been much more diligent about taking my vitamins (number 12) and we had our first session with the counsellor who’s going to help us learn to make difficult decisions together (number 5) Although the decision’s been made for us with Husbando’s new job I think we need to address the issue and I have to say the first session was definitely insightful.

Finally I’ve been thinking about how my on-line space represents me (number 6) and I’ve decided to do the equivalent of blog suicide! I’m not just going to get a new look but I’ve decided to go with a new URL as well. I haven’t been overly thrilled with Wish, Wait, Hope, Pray since Little Miss was born and while I was in the UK (where apparently my creative powers were jump-started) I thought of the perfect blog name that really represents me. Its not all ready to go quite yet but I’m hoping to reveal both the new look and the new name next week! Stay tuned people, stay tuned!!!

I have to admit that I’ve been rubbish about drinking water (number 1), cooking different meals (number or taking Little Miss to different activities (number 9) but I’m going to have two to three weeks next month where Husbando will be away and I will have to stay busy so as not to go insane. I also think I’ve identified a major time waster in my life (number 11) but I’m not sure I’m ready to let it go just yet (hello head, meet sand!)

So far its been a lot easier than I thought it would be to bring these things to fruition – I think just writing them down and putting them out there keeps them in the forefront of my mind so I don’t forget what I want to do!

I know a lot of you created lists of your own or identified things you wanted to change – how are you getting on with your 12 x 12 challenges?

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So part of the outcome of all this yucky stressy-ness is that Husbando now has a new job!!! And for the first time in two and a half years its something that he’s really excited about. It came out of left field but its something I think he’s going to be very good at and is interesting to boot – plus he gets to do a fair bit of traveling and it looks like there might be a chance or two for me to go with him.

The other side of this news is that it means we’ll be staying here for at least three years. The plan is to downsize into a small townhouse and if we buy again we have to commit to being here for at least three years to make the economics work. It feels weird because after my UK trip I definitely wanted to go back but this way the decision was made for us which is better than all the “trying to figure out what to do” aka arguing!

The reality of all of this is just starting to sink in for both of us. Yesterday I realised that as Husbando will be working Monday – Friday it means he will be home on the weekends. Which means WEEKENDS TOGETHER people! Something we haven’t had more than once a month for almost THREE YEARS! It means he’ll have to dress for work and look nice and get hair cuts (rather than buzz cutting his hair!) which I think will be fab for him.

I can’t thank you all enough for your tweets and emails over the last week – it was hard for someone like me not to blurt it all out into cyberspace but your thoughts and reassurances were soooooooooooo helpful and made me feel so supported regardless of what happened.

Big loves people – BIG LOVES!

xoxo

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Here’s what won me the $250 for BlogHer (wooohooo!)

A huge thank you to @SeedPower and to @dipaolamomma @MammaMania @makeovermomma

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I love the story of the founders of SEED, not just because they came up with a great idea but because I see the parallels in my own life. For starters I like wine and they like wine.  (See what I mean! Tee hee hee!) They aren’t gifted gardeners and I possess the black thumb of death! (Hey – we’re simpatico!) But most of all because their story of change and commitment started with the search for another type of seed – a new life.

Since becoming a mother I’ve found that I question more, research more (and I’m definitely more opinionated). For example, I never really cared all that much about organic food but now that Little Miss has started solids and I’m making all her baby food, I’m very cautious about what I buy for her to eat. I read label after label and whenever I can afford to, I buy HER* food organic (and get weird looks from the check-out girls when I explain one bag of broccoli is organic and one isn’t!) The other day I bought some fresh organic carrots and nearly cried when I tasted them (well tasted their puree!) it actually tasted like the carrots that grew in my parents garden rather than the mild watered down carrot-lite that I’m used to. (*I’d love to buy us ALL organic, ALL the time but for now we do what we can!)

In some ways Little Miss has turned my life into a series of giant questions, one after another – each of them striving to make her world, her life, a better place. Although we didn’t eat a lot of processed food before I’ve cut down even more. We eat less meat because after seeing Food Inc I would rather eat good quality meat less often than eating crappy, overly produced meat regularly.

I looked at the cleaning products we brought into our house and wondered how many of the chemicals her delicate little body was absorbing. Whereas I was oblivious before, now we try to avoid products with ingredients I can’t pronounce. I listened to the way I talk about my body, and I am desperate for her, my gorgeous daughter, to grow up without the body issues I have; so I lift weights to become strong and I run so I’m in good shape all to show her, through living it, that fitness and strength are better touchstones than pounds and percentages.

I am currently trying to decide what’s next for me – what do I want out of this life of mine? We’re in the process of downsizing our lives so that we have less stuff and more freedom. I know I want to create, inspire, laugh, play, smile and give back and I hope I’m able to find my find my own way of doing so, just like the founders of SEED found theirs.

And just because I was feeling creative I also Whrrl’d an entry for the contest.

Check it!

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So I made a list of things big and small that I would like to change:

1. Drink more water
2. Find & arrange a sitter so I can get out, baby free, for 4 hours a week
3. Exercise 6 days a week (3x weights/3 x runs)
4. Create a realistic & manageable financial plan & put it into action
5. Learn how to make difficult decisions as a couple
6. Change my on-line space to better represent me
7. Go on at least 1 date night a month with Husbando (and no Little Miss)
8. Cook 12 meals, from 12 different cookbooks and 12 different countries (Greek, French, Italian, Spanish, German, English, Vietnamese, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, Moroccan & Indian)
9. 12 different activities w/Little Miss
10. Clear out/downsize 10% of our belongings
11. Identify & remove a big time waster from my life
12. Take my vitamins EVERY day

Now obviously this list isn’t, on its own, going to bring about massive change (I’m not going to move across the country or retrain to be a lawyer for example) but I’m hoping these changes, within the framework of 12 weeks will shake something loose in me that allows me to feel like I am my own change agent.

I’m hoping to expand my photo taking as well so I plan on documenting each change, each challenge, in some way.

So there you go… I’m publicly putting out there, making myself accountable for my desire, my NEED for some change in my life.

What about you? Do you have anything that’s been bugging you that you want to change? If so, why not join me? Here’s to the next 12 weeks!

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For some reason BlogHer was in a funny old, sort of English style hotel with lots of staircases everywhere and loads of dark wood. My mum had come with me (I suspect it was for the babysitting as I’m worried about finding a sitter for the evenings) and for some reason had promised Tanis* from Attack of the Redneck Mommy that we would drive her back to Alberta, but because Tanis had to be back on Sunday we needed to leave BlogHer on the morning of the first day.

I quickly realized that because we had to leave early I wouldn’t get to meet all the women I’m dying to meet so I start running all over the hotel to try and find Tara* from What She Really Wants because I would be devastated if I had to leave NY without meeting her.

Whilst I’m running around trying to find Tara, I see Karen* from Chookooloonks and I want to speak to her but when I approached her I realized that I had no voice. (This happened a couple more times with other bloggers I admire – freudian much?)

In the end I couldn’t find anyone because most people were in this cafeteria that was on another level and wasn’t accessible by the stairs on the level I was on (???) and I had to get back to the car to drive essentially across the country. Then I woke up.

It was weird but it made me realize that (a) I am really freaking excited about BlogHer (b) I need to book my hotel or I’ll end up in some scary “English Style” hotel and (c) I need to look into a sitters for the evening (that aren’t my mum or going to agree to leaving before the conference even begins!)

So how many of you are planning on going to BlogHer? (have you had any crazy dreams about it?) And if you’re taking your kidlets what are you planning to do in the evenings? Also – I’d like to do a NY tour when I’m there – anyone have any recommendations?

*I just wanted to point out that I have never met any of these women and Tara is probably the only one who has ever heard of me so the whole “dreaming about other bloggers” thing is kinda weird – in a cool way!

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So if you are getting an EI payment for, I don’t know, being off on maternity leave or because you lost your job, you probably don’t have much money. And you would probably expect that as the government is giving you the money AND taxing that money they would obviously know HOW much to take right? WRONG! Turns out that they take about 1 – 2% tax and the tax rate is usually around the 22% rate. So when you, like I did, go to get your taxes done, expecting at least a small, very much needed, refund you’ll discover that you in fact OWE hundreds of dollars and your poor husband who spent most of the year unemployed, also owes. You may put your head on the desk of the tax accountant and cry when you realise that you also only have a matter of weeks to make the bloody payment. Then you may get incredibly angry that no one ever tells you that your government is setting you up to be screwed at the end of the tax year, because if someone told you perhaps you could have saved for it rather than having to magic the money out of thin air. Fellow EI-ites consider yourself warned!

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